I just… I’m just really stressed. Can I get a drink of water? Ah yes, thank you.
I know everyone thinks I just got this job because of my cousin, General Hux, but I have more talent than that daft, soulless ginger—everyone at home knows it. Only time I get any appreciation is around the holidays. Still, General…so much more exciting than “Head of the Financial Department”, isn’t it? No. I got this job on my merits. Mine. No one cares about numbers, about order, the way I do. It is called the First Order after all.
Well, before I go too far down a rabbit hole—you know, I might take that cup of tea you mentioned earlier? Yes, thanks. No sugar. Waste of coin, you know. As I was saying, Kylo Ren destroyed yet another incredibly expensive piece of technology…due to some sort of fit. I believe it had to do with a girl? Something like that. He’s so tetchy. Only this time, the technology he destroyed was actually just a bit priceless. It’s to keep Starkiller’s base from overheating, shall we say. Extra security. We have extra safeguards in place, but I wanted this final piece. It was a good investment, and after all the investigating I did into the Empire’s old financial records, well, it was easy to see the Death Star, well, both of them, could have benefitted. So, I called up the engineer, have it in place, very expensive, but less expensive than having to rebuild Starkiller Base…*chuckles* Well, the engineer is the only one in the galaxy who can do it. Or should I say, could. He’s dead now.
Well, Little Miss Emotional Princess Ren just had to have a absolute tizzy on it. Hux told me not to worry about it, but he doesn’t think like I do. Doesn’t plan. And why does this keep happening? We’re spending an absolute wealth of riches on Kylo repairs. I know he has dazzling hair, and I know it makes everyone a bit soft with him, but that doesn’t happen naturally. I have the receipts to prove just how much product goes into making that happen.
So, I had to sneak in to see Snoke, of course, he never enjoys seeing me, but I’m sorry Supreme Leader Snoke, will the FORCE just produce credits?!?! I think not. Well, I needed a bit of force ghost chatting…necromancy…whatever with this ghost so I might get the technology replaced. And he’s dead, so I was quite certain we’d be getting a freebee.
Ugh. Seeing Snoke is terrible. I wonder if he really is that size…because if not, I could be saving a fortune on a smaller hologram. He muttered something about how raising the dead for engineering purposes not being how the force works but, well, General Hux isn’t the only soulless ginger in the family. I told him, dark lord or no, I needed this fixed or he was going to have to account for some expenditures himself. And I also wanted hologram receipts from him.
Eventually, it all worked out..thank goodness..only for me to wake up this morning to the sound of a lightsaber grating on metal. Besides my computer being ruined, the little Ren brat made a hole in my door. And I’m pretty sure he stole my eyeliner. But no worries, though, I found his book of poetry. If he doesn’t want that broadcasted over the morning announcements, he’ll cough my cosmetics up.
At least the ghostly engineer will have the repairs done soon, and I can rest easy. I mean, can you imagine, something happening to this entire base? *chuckles* It’d be a disaster…and I’d have to clean it up.. *laughs* Nothing like that could possibly happen, right?
—Lieutenant Adelaide Hux, Head of the Financial Department of the First Order